parenting

Skip the judgement

I saw this post on upworthy today, it’s an old post but still absolutely relevant. It made me so happy to see these mums side by side in such a display of unity.

21 photos of moms who are all done with the dumb mommy wars

You see, with motherhood I have come across the biggest amount of judgement and snippiness I’ve experienced since high school.

I’m still not allowed to sit at the popular table but I no longer care. I don’t want to be in your gang anyway, no, it’s not because you formula feed or let your baby cry it out, but because you still think bitchiness and judgement are acceptable. Because you think we can only be friends if we all think and act the same and because you openly mock another person’s beliefs.

I’m told that my “style” of parenting makes other mums feel bad, that in simply following my instincts I cast judgement on other mums. Yet at every turn I’ve been pushed and prodded to change my ways; I’m told I’m spoiling/abusing my child in equal measure, I’m shamed and belittled by being told I’m following a fad.

Everyone thinks that their way is the right way. It isn’t. It’s just right for you, and my way is right for me.

Whilst mums are out there forming cliques, excluding each other and pointing fingers, we’re all missing the bigger picture; it isn’t about us. You’re teaching your sons and daughters that women bickering is the norm, that division is the norm, that small minded smug one-upmanship is all we’re capable of.

There are bigger issues out there to fight, There’s the current state of the country; these early days of Brexit have brought a 50% increase in racist and xenophobic crimes. There’s the ever present patriarchial oppression of women; the pay gap, rape culture, and accepted objectification. For goodness sake, there are girls in this world who have to leave school to manage their periods. Can’t we stand together and fight about those things?

Can’t we get over the idea that motherhood is a series of exclusive clubs and pigeon holes?

Can’t we raise our kids to a better world than that? Isn’t that what we all want?

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